Your Daddy’s a Mean Drunk Who Shoots Friends in the Face, and Your Momma Writes Dirty Books, So — Why Not Run for Senate?

65718_460688847330411_9092096_nAllegedly.

And the fellow apologized for getting in your dad’s way.

Also, allegedly.

And just because a lady doesn’t like the heterosexual-type sex doesn’t make her a lesbian, right?

He kissed her, forced her lips open with his mouth. She could taste the whiskey he had been drinking, feel his whiskers and the scab on his face. A wave of revulsion swept over her, and she pushed him away. As he fell back, the white bulldog moved toward her, his growl becoming louder.

“Ah, feisty, isn’t she, Luper?” Wilson stroked the dog. “Well, sometimes that kind’s the most fun.”

Liz Cheney, ready and waiting for Wyoming’s as-yet-unissued summons back to the power province of McLean, Virginia (“Highlanders Represent!”), where she grew up and raised her own kids….

Ms. Cheney, 46, is showing up everywhere in the state, from chicken dinners to cattle growers’ meetings, sometimes with her parents in tow. She has made it clear that she wants to run for the Senate seat now held by Michael B. Enzi, a soft-spoken Republican and onetime fly-fishing partner of her father.

But Ms. Cheney’s move threatens to start a civil war within the state’s Republican establishment, despite the reverence many hold for her family.

Mr. Enzi, 69, says he is not ready to retire, and many Republicans say he has done nothing to deserve being turned out.

Could the most famous Deputy Assistant Secretary of State for Near Eastern Affairs and co-Darth memoir-crafter actually manage to get her Daddy to buy her what she seems very badly to want?

You and your father seem especially close.

We are. The family has always campaigned together. We spent years traveling around Wyoming [the state he represented for six terms as a congressman] in a motor home. When he ran for vice president [the first time], my sister, Mary, was his personal aide, and in 2004 she ran the vice-president piece of the campaign. Both times I managed his debate preparation. And there are a lot of grandkid stories in the book.

(So… it’s a cookbook?)

That tidbit will certainly make for an interesting campaign for the United States Senate from Wyoming, the Cheney’s “home state” — which so far seems extremely un-charmed with the idea of changing GOP Senators. Even the *actual* dean of the Congressional emeritus delegation, Alan *Odious* Simpson, has an opinion, very carefully expressed:

It would bring about “the destruction of the Republican Party of Wyoming if she decides to run and he runs, too,” Alan K. Simpson, a former Republican senator from the state, said in an interview last week. “It’s a disaster — a divisive, ugly situation — and all it does is open the door for the Democrats for 20 years.”

Left unclear in *Odious*’s comment above is whether Liz Cheney’s running is the problem, or the current incumbent’s intent to run for re-election is the problem. Perhaps the incumbent has something to add?

Mr. Enzi is known as a studious, low-key legislator who worked well with Senator Edward M. Kennedy. He avoids political talk shows because, he says, their goal is to get guests to “beat up on their colleagues.”

In an interview last week after a town hall-style meeting at the county fairgrounds here, a few feet from a plaque marking the site of Mr. Cheney’s first political speech, Mr. Enzi revealed that Ms. Cheney told him this year that she was thinking about challenging him in 2014.

“She called me and said that she’s looking at it,” he said.

And did Ms. Cheney ask Mr. Enzi, now in his third term, if he was planning to run again?

“No,” Mr. Enzi said.

To date, Liz Cheney’s campaign seems to consist of moving her entire family to Wyoming one year ago, then attending lots of events while populating social media with pictures of her children doing Wyoming-type things. Presumably, there’s an effort underway to deep-six interviews like this one about last year’s GOP presidential primary selection:

What do you think of the current Republican presidential field?
I think we have a good one. But I am worried about the national-security position of the Republican Party. We have a number of candidates who want to adopt an isolationist approach. It’s understandable that people are war weary. And with the economy as bad as it is, people are very worried about defense spending. But I think it is a dangerous and naive approach to believe if we simply bring our troops home, the threat will be over.

What do you think of Michele Bachmann?
She was one of the best on this national–security issue in the [June] debate. I find her very impressive. As a mother of five, I like to see someone else with five kids out there, throwing her hat in the ring.

(Michele and Marcus Bachmann actually also parented 23 foster children. She’d like you to remember that, Liz.)

Liz Cheney’s husband, Phillip Perry, is unmentioned in the NYT profile, so I’ll do the honors:

In March 2003, when the world’s attention was focused on U.S. soldiers heading to Baghdad, twelve senior officials in the Bush administration gathered around a long oak conference table in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building, part of the White House complex. They were meeting to put the final touches on a proposed legislative package that would address what was perhaps the most dangerous vulnerability the country faced after 9/11: unprotected chemical plants close to densely populated areas.

The package was the product of nearly a year’s worth of work led by Tom Ridge, head of the Department of Homeland Security (previously head of the White House Office of Homeland Security), and Christine Todd Whitman, administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency. Both had been governors of northeastern states (Ridge of Pennsylvania and Whitman of New Jersey) with a large number of chemical plants, and this only increased their concern about leaving such facilities unprotected. EPA staff felt such fears even more acutely: agency data showed that at least 700 sites across the country could potentially kill or injure 100,000 or more people if attacked.

The basic elements of the legislation were simple: the EPA would get authority to regulate the security of chemical sites, and, as a first step, plants would submit plans for lowering their risks. One man present at the meeting, Bob Bostock, who was homeland security adviser to the Environmental Protection Agency, was relieved to see that something was finally being done. “We knew that these facilities had large enough quantities of dangerous chemicals to do significant harm to populations in these areas,” he says.

No one present was prepared for what came next: the late arrival of an unexpected visitor, Philip Perry, general counsel of the Office of Management and Budget (OMB). Perry, a tall, balding man who bears a slight resemblance to Ari Fleischer without the glasses, was brusque and to the point. The Bush administration was not going to support granting regulatory authority over chemical security to the EPA. “If you send up this legislation,” he told the gathering, “it will be dead on arrival on the Hill.”

No one doubted the finality of Perry’s message. The OMB, which sets the course for nearly every proposal coming out of the White House, is a much-feared department that raises or lowers its thumb on policy priorities, a sort of mini-Caesar at the interagency coliseum. But Philip Perry could boast one more source of authority: he was, and is, the husband of Elizabeth Cheney, and son-in-law of Vice President Dick Cheney. After Perry spoke, only Bostock dared to protest, though to little effect. “He was obnoxious,” Bostock recalls.

So to the allegedly mean drunk and allegedly porn writer parents, we can apparently add an obnoxious husband. Allegedly.

But effective:

A flippant critic might say the father-in-law has been prosecuting a war that creates more terrorists abroad, while the son-in-law has been working to ensure they’ll have easy targets at home. But it’s more precise to say that White House officials really, really don’t want to alienate the chemical industry, and Perry has been really, really willing to help them not do it.

So there’s that. After all, only a flippant critic would point out that maybe, just perhaps, America has a chemical-plant go-boom problem in 2013, right?

Would they?

Really?

Flippant?


Hardly.

Regardless of Phillip Perry’s absence from the NYT’s Liz Cheney profile, one aspect of her “campaign” for the United States Senate came through loud and clear:

Wyoming residents say they have seen more of Mr. Cheney since his daughter moved to the state and his health rebounded after a heart transplant.

He has appeared on the political dinner circuit, and he made news last month for accepting Gov. Matt Mead’s invitation to help represent Wyoming this fall in the annual antelope hunt competition with Colorado.
.
[snip]
.
Republicans report spotting Mr. Cheney and his daughter together in recent months at events like the Crook County Lincoln Day dinner. He has also talked up his daughter’s candidacy in meetings with wealthy Republican donors in New York, and next month father and daughter will be the featured speakers at a conservative conference in Steamboat Springs, Colo., an event expected to attract donors Ms. Cheney could turn to in a Senate bid.

It’s not a campaign Liz Cheney’s waging for the United States Senate from Wyoming; it’s just another whine from a spoiled little Highlander.

“Daddy, buy me that!”

Allegedly.

(hat-tip for post title inspiration to Tengrain, on Twitter last night! Read Tengrain here, I do!)

8 thoughts on “Your Daddy’s a Mean Drunk Who Shoots Friends in the Face, and Your Momma Writes Dirty Books, So — Why Not Run for Senate?

    1. Teddy Post author

      Good morning, and thank Suzs!  I gotta do a long-form Sunday piece for those of us who don’t get the Dead Tree Papers any more, but still try to reserve the day for r*e*a*d*i*n*g, amirite?

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